The future is a mysterious creature. A creature that we will never get the change to trap, to hold, know or be friendly with. It is always just one step ahead of us.
Yes, the fact is that one never reaches the future.
Tomorrow will simply become today when tomorrow comes. The future once again gives us the slip.
This is something I've always felt I've understood.
But last night I realized,
I live for the future.
Why would I live for something that I can never really obtain and hold on to?
As I fight to understand the future and waste time fearing about what may be, I loose touch with the present and let all of the wonderful precious moment I hold this very second slip away. Those are moments I can never retrieve.
I've wasted almost 19 years of wondering what is going to be, instead of what is happening all around me at this very moment, and this deeply disturbs me.
But, past, another mysterious creature that we can never capture or hold, is just another waste of my valuable time and something that I will no longer dwell on.
I will only live for today. For this very moment. For what is, and not what will be.
Thank you for helping me understand.
Thank you for that spark.
Now I'm no longer waisting my time.
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There's nothing more encouraging to me than these entries. Mostly, in that we have moments, difficult and hard, to try to understand the essence of what is happening in all facets of life, and that it's so easy to lose sight of the present, like you said.
ReplyDeleteBut there's nothing more valuable to me than talking with you, long and emotionally, only to have you prove that you truly understand my intent. A long, twisty road is ahead...but we're only where we are. Between the road ahead and the road behind.
I love you, Caitlin. Right this very second. :)